I really hate myself now, why did i let myself go overboard again ?? it seems like when i play i really lose control. i hate myself.. its like the only think i feel now. Seems like i am being to feel worse and worse after each mistake. i dun know why.. its just her. i always make mistakes around her. maybe its cos my feelings get mixed up with everything. I dun know how to face her anymore. I should jsut get out of her life, it sucks to keep seeing her upset with me. Rummy i know you think she has been bad to me. but i can tell you she is the greatest, she put up with everytime i did something she didnt like.
i should jsut fuck right out of her life. she deserves to have much better than this shit. its hard to tell my heart to die again but i have to, its gets stabbed everytime i see her upset she should get much better.on my way home, i almost got hit by 2 cars and i am like a danger to everyone now.esp myself. i somehow cut my hand and i feel no pain. its a small cut but it bled kinda alot. didnt know till it dripped on my bed.its been a while since i have shed any tears but all the way home i was crying, it just wont stop. it kinda hasnt stop yet. i wanted to jump off her block when i saw her reaction, she wont stand 1m from me.
I am sorry, i really am. please believe me that i didnt mean it. i am so useless.. i knowMaybe its cause i still feel for her...
hold me now at 12:15 AM
