my handphone is really screwed up. its reached a all-time low. i mean i jsut recieved 8 messages that seem to be from days ago !! waht the hell is happening ?? is it starhub's problem or is it my Nokia phone ?? my sim card is a 3G sim card so it shouldnt be a problem receiving the messages but why is it like this ??
REALLY SORRY TO THOSE WHO I DIDNT REPLY !! i really didnt mean to not reply dont know what is happening to my phone.
sorry denise. couldnt get you a morning call for your chinese paper.
sorry sze wei. i think i was asking you to pass me a book ??
sorry yun han. never talk crap with you
sorry cheryl. ask you call for nothing
and....
SORRY HUAN SONG !!! thats why you needed a talk with kenny today. i am sorry !!! i really didnt get the msg. hai~ call myself brother somemore. hai~ sorry man.. argh !!! I HATE THIS PHONE !!!
this one has something to say. MY CLASSMATE TINGTING IS FREAKING SCARY !! i mean her character is alright and all. but when she looks at you, she STARES !!! and you feeling like all the blood in your body is becoming ice. thats why i call her the ICE QUEEN HAHA. but ICE QUEEN isnt that cold anymore. not like whe school first started. i would say hi to her but all i got back was ICY STARE ATTACK. Xiu juan is getting weirder by the days. MY GOD i swear that she is getting PMS like everyday !! HAHA but thats why its easier to get her to do small things which i dun want to do, HAHA like my writing skills homework. OOOPS did i say that ?? nah.. never happened.. the book selling and buying.. hai~ in the end decided not to charge anyone anything. so i guess my mum is going to kill me for my phone bill this month !! HAHA WOW.. really tired. but i still have to complete my stats and accounts tutorial. jsut realised that afew people around me, if you look at them in some ways. they are actually quite nice. HAHA. not that they interest me. gals are thrash to me now. cant seem to trust them. (of cos i dun count my friends inside)
argh !! i am such a freak. MUHAHHAHAHA.. ya.. sometimes its nice to be a freak. hai~
have you ever felt like your body wants to go one way but your brain is telling you to go the other ?? well.. i still feel like that. its been what ?? 52 hours already ?? the feeling is still there. a craving.. part of me really really liked doing it and part of me was screaming to stop. well, maybe thats what with this craving.. i had too much fun. is that suppose to be good ?? i mean. I REALLY LIKED IT !!
health-wise
well, my health has been really werid recently. normally i feel alright. but once it turns dark or i breathed in smoke. there is like a shockwave that explodes in my head. its like my brain shuts down for a while. on friday, it shut down totally on me for almost half a day. collasped on the floor when i reached home. weird right ?? but on sat i could still go and play ball. strange health i am having.
well.. some good news. i can wear contacts again !! i know sherlyna finds me damm ugly with my specs on. so do a few other people.but hold on for a while longer ok ? the blood in my eye is still not gone yet.
Mental-wise
argh !! who can change me back ?? thanks to a FCB of a case 4. i am like this. WTF ?? argh !! so far the only ones are case 0, case 2, case 3 and case 5. HAHA what or who am i talking about ?? noone knows !! AHHA only stephen and andrew know my cases HHAHA..
yes guys, yet again i have lost to john. this time its 2 3pointers. basketball is fun. really helps me get my mood on. well, right now i am rushing my tutorials. hope jana can meet me tmr cos i really hate doing homework on my own.
ok. for anyone who seen me yesterday and i either did something stupid to you or told you something stupid. i am really sorry for it. i really am. i was sick yesterday. ran a really high fever. collasped when i reached home. slept from 12 to 12. then woke up ate and went back to sleep till 5. and now i cant sleep.
mainly this post is going out to a someone. you should know who you are. sorry for last night. i really didnt mean for it to happen and i would meet you again. unless of cos you dun want me to. i dun know what to say. its realy weird. in a good way and a bad way. i really enjoyed myself yesterday. ok.. maybe enjoyed a little too much. but i really liked that we could talk so much. though i was not really thinking but it was really nice talking to you. (AND NO WE DIDNT HAVE SEX !! STOP THINKING LIKE I AM SOME KIND OF PLAYER. I AM NOT YOU !! LOSERS.. HAHA)
feels good to be 18 right ?? HAHA WOO.. had alot of fun today. we went to check out the new VIVOcity. MAN IT WAS PACKED !! there were so amny people there today. maybe because its a holiday. but we really had fun make jokes of the people and things we saw. HAHA. will send you guys teh pics tmr. my phone is charging. sorry. so tired !! its been a while since i stood for so long. since my sis left, noone asks me to be their carry boy. we walked around the whole place !! damm felt like circles. ended up at the water fountain. where they release mist once in a while its really cool !! and fun too !! AHHA will update pics for this one. they are really funny !! HAHA check back tmr !!
THIS ONE IS OFFICALLY PROCLAIMING THAT SHERILYN LEE HUI YU IS THE MOST ADORABLE AND SWEET GAL THIS ONE KNOWS !!! so gal believe me when i say, you are great. in fact i am actaully a little scared to see you on friday but i cant wait !!! HAHA..
hey sher.. i was rather shocked when i heard you had broken up with him. to me, you really like him alot. just that maybe he doesnt need you as much as you need him. think things through ok ?? if you need a talk call me ok ?? i dun want to see you sad but i dun want you to suffer alone too. i will be there for you alright ??
dun stay at home so much you will bore yourself out of your mind. go out for some air once in a while ok ?? drink lots of water too.
jokes aside, i am sorry. i should have insisted to send you home last night or you wont have to go through that.. i am so sorry. i knew it was late and i let you walk that path alone. sorry. if i was there maybe it wont have happen. everything would be fine if i jsut remembered that the last train was at 12. sorry you had to go through that scary time.
i am really glad nothing happen. i am glad that you are alright. but i feel so much at fault even for the scratchs on your legs. i am sorry.. next time you come home late. please call me ok ?? i really dun want this thing to happen again, i dun care what time. you better call me !! ok ?? take care Princess..
its AISHAH's birthday guys !! happy birthday gal !!! aishah is the cutest gal in our class (AF0601) HAHA you are gal. she is also by far the most friendly gal in class. HAHA daps is too scary. she is also the person that is most concern about the class as a whole always talking about class bonding and stuff. responsible gal, should be class rep. HAHA this cutie pie is going through some tough times. so all out there !! pray for her !! to your respective gods or what have you. such a cutie should not be seen sad !! hear that gal ?? be loud and not care !!! stay happy always..
-rock on !!!
to aishah : one whole post about you ok ?? hounored ?? HAHA
well.. i still hate going to school. adrian brought up a good point today. maybe i am jsut so weak ya ?? maybe.. i dun know anymore.
been feeling very empty this days. no basketball. no bike. no target. life's really weird.. maybe its the loneliness ?? who knows ?? havent seen neighbour gal yet. hope to see her soon. i am afraid some guy may get faster.
sad sad life. HS is telling me he misses me. my god. actually i kinda miss him too. but with all the things with his gf. hai~ lets jsut say we meet for to talk about sad stuff. miss the guys already. they cancelled the outing today. so sad. deathnote is a waste of money thats why.
i am still sick. though i try to hold it in. coughs are getting harder and harder. and my nose is blocked most of the time. i hate the haze. and thanks to all the drinking. i feel like puking alot of the time. no fever though thats good. been resting anytime i can. sleeping alot. hai~ but sometimes when i wake up. i wish to see someone there. someone who will greet me when i open my eyes. (Note : my ex was not there, this was from very long ago) hai~ ya must be loneliness. HAHA.
OH YA !! i stop drinking till the 27th oct. i know its isnt long but on that day ITS KENNY'S BIRTHDAY.
to sherylna : i cant contact you la. so damm weird everytime we sms.. you know.
to jana : sorry for pissing you off last night. you know i hate smses when i am sleeping. you tio once before remember ?? i told you many times. call !! i dun mind waking up and talking. dun ask me to wake up and type and wait for your reply which is when i am falling back to sleep.
to alicia : i got to say this.. sorry.. the night after you told me to stop drinking, i went to drink again. sorry. but ya.. you know whats been happening. damm sian..
school has started. sian. hai~ i dislike going to class. it seems like a drag. it doesnt seem fun anymore. daps and Vee are still the same. its only the other 2 who were closer to me. ya, one everyone knows what happen. so ya will skip that. the other now has a bf so ya. those who know me well enough. know i am very auto. i rather you go pei your Bf or Gfs. class is boring. i keep feeling like sleeping. maybe its cos of all that excess drinking at the beginning of this week. my stomach is still recovering.
things have been weird in this one's mind. been thinking about the things I did for her. hmm.. alot of my galfriends tell me that they wished their Bf would do that for them. some say i am really nice and all that. ya ya ya.
saw neighbour gal yesterday. i was walking through the carpark with my friends when i saw her behind us. so i stopped to get a better look. i guess she jsut went out. her dress sense is not bad. but i think she would look better in a skirt. but the sad part is.. she smokes. i saw her light up at the corner of my block. hai~ sad right ?? too bad. my friends were there or i would have gone and took that stick out of her mouth. she seems like a really nice gal. wonder if she is is single. Oh well.
oh shit !! this one is late to meet xiu juan and run dong to do our assignment !! rush !! die !!! DAD !!! SAVE ME !!! bye !! sign off now.
well, as some of you know. yesterday was this one's 18th birthday. was a usual my kind of birthday. shit.. HAHA ya. things never turn out well on my birthday. was really looking forward to going out with sher today. (not the PK sher) but i guess your BF is too concerned to let you.
gal, he controls becuase he really really loves you. he is afraid to lose such a great gal. so give it your all too. dun lose faith in him. he jsut doesnt know how to express himself.
but in a way. its weird. we both added you on the same day using the same way. hmm.. the 'what if' is really realy huge here. what if i just do something, who knows i may never had to go through this all this shit the past few months. and i wont be single now. HAHA what if right ?? lifes like that. take it.
well, my day was made great by the pangzies again. they found out that i was sleeping at home and organized dinner together. thanks so much i am so touched. really !! they always seem to know when i need them as i said in a previous post (Dated : Oct 9) thats where i belong. we are a band of brothers. water turned to blood. pillars of strength for those who need us. i know we seem like a brunch of cocksters. or as my class would see me, an immature, thoughtless brainless kiddo. but why should we pangsters show our true selfs to you guys ?? can we trust you ?? this goes out to all who doubt us pangsters. we act like how much you mean to us. only when the time is right, then we will step up. grab the ball and BRING IT HOME.
to outsiders : theres alot of things going on underground. for those who went to the chalet. you all would have known jsut 1 of the things.
to the pangzies : thanks for everything. you guys really made my day. and dun let me drink beer again. i hate it !! i really miss you guys. i want to go TP too. jsut to be with the group. and with my grades i think i can get in. but i know its stupid. i will work harder guys !! you guys too !!! this friday we are all going to watch DEATHNOTE. cant wait. and then on the 27th !! the oct baby PARTY !!! lets all PARTY !!
well, its over. just back from class chalet. really tired, first time i thon over night without sleeping. it was fun even though only the ones i knew would come came. drink a little too much last night. but i started really early so by the time i was awake the rest only jsut started. sorry i had to run off like that guys. you all understand right ?? dun let it out ok ?
Reunion. it was really fun. it took my mind off the thing totally. almost all the pangzies made it. tooo bad HS and Aaron didnt go or we would have been thrown out for sure. we made so much noise that day. the group keep playing 007 and the guys kept eating and eating. my god we are so full.
well i am still sick. sorry all. i know it taking a long time this time. but i am trying to take care of myself. so dun worry ok ?? my eye has internal bleeding i think. my brother says there is a blood clog. going for an appointment this friday ? i think so. till then its specs for me. sorry sher i know i look like shit with my specs.
yah.. To all out there. YES !! I will take care. Sorry to be of worry. Thanks for all the well wishes. Felt really like crap this morning. Couldn't get out of bed till 11. Too giddy. When I got up I would feel like vomiting. ya it got better by 12. Maybe thanks to all the scolding of NYP timetable people. My timetable totally sucks. Monday is 8 till 16 !! WTH la.. Going to be damn hard not falling asleep in class. Well, the main thing is I am better. Only left with the running nose and eyes that feel like Cyclops.
thanks to stephen (yang,you are not useless ok ? you are jsut shy.) i didnt stay home and rot today away. he called me out to watch miami vice with him so i said ok since i done with my stuff. that show was good man. a really good "guy"show. Guys should go with guy friends to watch it. its nice !! but its not a good show to bring a gal to. for a date i suggest "You, me and durpee". its really funny i heard. the trailers look good too. so who is free ??
Just went to play ball jsut now. cant help myself. played a 5 match 1 on 1 with samuel. My God. i still can shoot my 3points. shot in like 32 3 pointers. lost the first match 6-7. then won the next 3 7-5 7-6 7-6 and lost the last match 6-7. that means only one shot was not a 3 point. considering i was using one leg. that was not bad le ok. shit. my right foot has a huge blister now. i cant even limp properly. but it was fun. exerise is suppose to help you get better, so play more ?? i think my knee would hurt tmr. but who cares. basketball is my life, as long as i can use my hands i will play ball. the court is my heaven.
To people at my tagboard : please leave your name, or use a nickname i know you by. thank you. i got enough of a headache already.
woo.. So tired.. Went out with the pangs today. Laughed our asses off man. Everyone are just so fun around each other. You hardly find another group with so many different people. we actually sang our school song and hymns at Cine my god. i miss singing them. cock things like that jsut comes to natural with the pangs. after so many years HAHA we really dun give a damm to anyone. Went to play lan in the evening after walking around orchard. SO DAMM FUNNY !! cs was fun. BUT THE DOTA !! HAHA Ter is a really good player. He helped me a lot in the game. HAHA.. I got 3 kills, maybe next time I get more. So much for me playing DOTA...
ok.. I am really really tired this few days. A bit under the weather. My nose is running a marathon and my throat and as dry as a horse's ass on a hot summer day. coughing like mad too. sometimes taste blood but cant seem to find anything in my spilt. weird.. oh well. few more days till reunion. cant wait. hope i dun get sick.
To rene : this is your offical kicking out of the DA. go !! shoo !! get lost !! dun find me again till you join back DA and i hope you never join back.
some of you may know this.. but my weird way of getting better is... to spend money. jsut spent all my money the whole 500 of it. bought so much stuff. new memory card for my phone. 2 new headsets. dinner and lunchs with a couple of friends. new thumbdrive and got a haircut. going to dye soon, my black is coming out.
but the main thing was my new creative headset. cost me 179. cool i love spending money or do i like new toys ?? well, thats weirdo for ya..
my life never seems to suprise me.. its always one bad thing after another. i dun reall care anymore. jsut got to get my shit down.
thanks to kenny, Big A and the company of HS i feel better now. still kinda sad that my bike is broken but there nothing i can do about it.
nothing much to blog about today even though quite afew things happen. but ya.. still moodless, sorry nut, i know you are trying to talk to me but ya, you should know by now that when i am down i will keep it all inside.
To someone (from my tagboard) : please leave a name.
To Big A and daps : happy birthday guys.. you're 18. we'll go sometime soon alright ?? and Big A please dun pose as other people. be nice.. or i will bite..
hai~ seems like all my loves are being taken away from me. my greatest love, basketball was pulled away from me when my knee gave way.. now..
FUCK !! my bike.. this really sucks !! ARGH !!!! feel like screaming my lungs out now.. ARGH !!! why my bike !! my darling for 9 years.. whenever i feel this F**K i always have my bike to turn to. i will jsut get on it and just keep riding and riding, till i feel better, till i was totally numb. but now... i have nothing !!! FU(k ARGH !!!! i just like to feel the wind in my hair again and all the hard knocks we had together..
i remember all the times like it was yesterday.. all the times racing with the buses.. all the time i would jump off the endless dirt ramps behind my grandma's.. the times i would speed down the hills around my grandma's, racing cars to see who was faster... all the falls i had with that bike.. all the scars, pain,scratchs and blood. i really loved that bike. it was my best friend for 9 whole years. i loved it.. now.. its beyond repair.. its body is totally broken and with it my heart..
i really feel like tell my bike that i am sorry. if i knew that this would happen. i would have riden so dangerously all this times.. all the jumps and accidents.. i feel so lost now.. its like.. shit.. ARGH !!! CRAP !!!! 9 years..
i am not sad, jsut empty.. theres no feeling.. some will say its nothing jsut get a new bike but to me its like seeing your best friend die infront of you.. ARGH !!! I HATE MY LIFE !!! ARGH !!! my 2 greatest loves are gone.. whats next ?? fine take it all..
shit i jsut realised.. I ONLY HAVE 12 DAYS TO MY SCHOOL STARTS AGAIN !! SHIT !! i am so dead. crap its like i am SO used to waking up at 12 !! shit.. only 12 days to get my timing back.
John is starting work on monday. shit.. at least he found a job but when he works, we all dun see him anymore. going to miss him. esp on the court.
hai~ jsut went to play ball jsut now. my leg almost gave way again i think.. hai~ heard a pop sound. after that totally relax le. i really hate my knee. i want to get better !! argh !! i hate this weak person i call myself now !! i want to fly on the court, i want to rule the court !! i still got to beat john !! then the next person !! argh !! i got to improve !! i want to train !!
argh !! damm.. i hate myself now..
Crab shack..
anyway jsut went to crab shack jsut now with mum. and her interested. (take note is not interest) HAHA.. ya.. i keep my mouth shut now..
food was ok. price was not that exp your typical pasta price. i had crab spagetti. (ok i know my spelling sucks ok ??) mum had the baked rice. HAHA regert right mum ?? i always get the good stuff.
my ratings: Food = 6.5 price = 5.5 (you need to have at least 10 bucks to have a proper meal) place = 5 (its like a coffee shop) staff = 6 (not bad call they come or maybe cos we are the only ones there)
wooo. jsut got back from watching "Stay alive" with yun han. got a shock when miss chio bu appeared, i wnas like.. WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU ?? her appearence totally changed.. guys wait till school reopens to see it i guess. oh ya.. the moive !! it was seriously scary but then again everyone know how easily i get scared. WA !! i am angry at Fun sheng !! that ass.. yesterday when i asked him out he told me ok, jsut that he wanted to watch sometime else, so i told him that tmr then see got what show to watch. that ass. this morning i sms him, he told me he dun feel like going out le any you know why ??? I dun know if you know this but i am the same as him. i feel for you and its you that has taken that space in my eyes. i know you are not ready, thats why i havent tried anything much with you, i want you to take your time, i wont force you to like me i know i am not worthy. but when i saw what you wrote my heart cracked alittle still. i know you are not over him and i have decided to wait, even if it takes years, i will be right here, always there for you so dun push me away. dun ask me why i like you so much that all other gals seize to exist in my eyes, i just think that you are worth it. i dun expect anything in return. to like someone this much, giving becomes unconditional. i just never want to see you upset again. and if i am adding to your pain. well.... i am sorry i really am..
that ASS said that his lift spoil !! oh my god.. because of lift spoil you PS us, great man. good game..
other than that. today was a ok day.. miss my "GOD(?)SAVE OUR KING" so sad.. its a really nice anime. but its giving very confusing with the 4 boxs of destruction and all that..tmr is "Honey and clover", the new love anime. not bad.. interesting. Shinobu is so funny.. well thats all for now.. maybe later or tmr then i will blog again..
anyway.. my block's third floor is having construction so i dun know when then it will be quite again. its damm irriating to wake up to that drilling noise.. gets me pissed off early in the morning esp since i sleep at 4.. asses.. ARGH !!! bye..
had a really great dream this late night, its one of my old dreams. john and i always talk about doing it.. well, the dream sort of goes like this..
imagine you are in class.. and the guy/gal (or both) you hate the most makes alot of noise or is sitting behind you. in my dream he/ she was making alot of noise as usual. i was getting ticked off as the S/D OB was causing me not being able to study/sleep. so i stood up turned around and open my wallet. i took out a brunch of fifty dollar note and threw it at her/him. shut your FCB mouth up can anot ?? its bad enough to have you here please dun make it worse by open your thrash hole. then i turn back around and go back to sleep/study.
WOO i love that dream, esp since i can do that. but then again that person is that cheap ?? HAHA.. dun bother asking who that person i dreamt of is. that person may not even be from my class and i'll give different answers to different people.. yes i am an ass but who cares what you think..
someone asked me to stop being an ass or crapper. HAHA.. i will try but you may not like what you get.. or maybe you are not worth ??
On another note..
ya kinda sad.. its like she doesnt see my efforts. everytime i praise her its not noted, kinda dun like that... well, i guess my life is like that what i want i never get but she is worth my nice-ness. at least, this time i have feelings for her ( and its alot ok ?? thats why its so sad). yes kenny, i know. for that one, i really deserve it. i cannot handle my own FAT rule.. i jsut i am not cut out for "those" kind of gals.
for the rest of you.. we'll see..
One last thing..
TO the guys at the court : PLEASE !! GROW SOME BALLS !! Gals have to ask you to appear so they can explain to you ?? my god !! and i am not talking about one person only.. goes for all of you all at the court.. GROW SOME BALLS !! DUN THINK THAT YOU PLUGGED A PUMP TO YOUR BALLS, ITS ACTUALLY BIG OK ?? GALS DUN OWE YOU SHIT OK ?? not happy with me, come and tell me. even gals dare to come up to me. god you guys suck.. a disgrace to us guys.
To the gals at the court : i know the guys are CBs.. please undestand ok ?? anything they do that really pisses you off. come talk to me first. anything i can settle, i try to help.. not all things must go confront them de.. and jana, its his life let him live it the way he wants to, you got no say in it. you can only advise him.
TO WORLD : watch out, i am in one of my moods again. Tai zi is pissed at guys in particular.. we are all sad beings.. I REALLY CHANGED IN THIS HOLIDAY I GUESS..
Whats happening.. Hey all, sorry i havent had the time to blog recently. time has jsut been flying by.. afew things has happen since the last post.. friends coming over everyday.. becoming into a bat again.. going out with old friends.. and trying to make progress with her
been so busy !! had fun ya.. but kinda miss HS and kenny.. they are having exams now.. cant wait for the reunion !!
well theres about 3 weeks to school starts again.. think about class.. i dun know why but.. i kinda dun like going to class now.. it seems like my class only exist as friends in class.. well thats the feeling i get anyway.. well, who cares ya ?? i decided not to.. my mindset is about when i was sec 3... cant be bothered about my class.. hai~ we'll see alright ?? i will try not to bastrad anyone..
hai~.. i wonder how Veegina is doing with the class chalet thing.. recently i have been so busy till i hardly was online.. i better call him soon !! shit.. i feel bad is he has to do everything on his own..
hai~ i think i over did my cave hiding.. i feel like i dun need anyone now.. esp from my class.. some how i ended up hating my class now.. thanks to my stupid mistake ya ?? HAHA.. ya.. jsut a while more.. i need to learn each and everyone's "thing" then i can be a total bastrad..
To mum : i know i said i wont do it.. but its better to have a backup plan in case someone tries something funny with me..
to world : i am in one of my bastrad moods again.. watch out..
To her : yes its true.. its my prayers you hear in the wind, they follow you keeping you safe, hoping you'll think about me in the warm sunshine.. but sad to say.. you cant know who you are.. not yet at last..
