everything is over, we have parted our ways. doubt we will see each other till the day i die. wasnt easy today. slept really late last night at about 3 ?? was doing my group's econs project to sent to serene. woke up at 9 thanks to all the SMS regarding the cancelling of class which i wasnt planning on going. went to see her off at about 10 plus ?? hai~ its been about 6 years since i last shed a tear but guess the counter resetted today.
everything ended about 2pm then my dad sent me to school. yes i still went for my presentation. though i think i did really badly. hai~ really have no mood but what to do ?? got to push yourself to the limits. "thats how you get better" something adam used to tell me. dun worry all i am alright. used to the shit in my life already. jsut need to crap more. sorry if i irriate some of you too much over the recent days HAHA. esp melody, everytime she walks past i will ask if i could date her. WAIT.. i have been using that to make fun of everyone !! HAHA.. better stop or people will start talking..
cycled my bro's bike to find HS. the usual making fun of people, talking about his gf, talking about how to help the other members of our group and of cos of our recent shits.. HAHA felt better after cycling around. the wind in your hair, the racing of your heart and the songs playing on your ears. HAHA we were talking and HS was accidently said "your hair in the wind" HAHA kinda makes you think of a certain lecturer ??
sending you home was the walk i needed.. thanks benihime..
why didnt it rain today ?? is heaven not sad ?? or is it jsut holding everything in like i am ?? i am used to everything..
Crimson flames, the destruction of structures once so finely crafted by hand.. partings to come, tears to be shed.. guess med wont give me a chance.. will eli ?? Today will be the last day and later i close yet another book. guess its time to move on, at least its settled.
once again, we have reached this time of the sem. its the last quarter. CRUNCH TIME.. the hype starts flowing through your veins. there is a tinkling in your soul. Times counting down.. something is coming.. and its close.. DUN MISS COS EVERY SHOT COUNTS
you either stand up and face the challenge or run and fail.
Ya i know.. i knew it would come. its been in afew of my previous post. hai~ but when things come to the stage when you treasure every last breath you spend with the person. letting go isnt that hard anymore. but it still kinda hurts.. alot...
hai~ though she left me this morning, i still got my act together and went for my SBM handover. ya it hurts like hell. thats why i drink a whole bottle of large coke. go get a little more sugar in my body but that costed me to keep going to the toilet. hai~ SBM was fun today reached at 11 and found out from lee that the invitations have not been sent out. HAHA so actually no one was going to turn up for the handover. but we called people and stuff and got the invites out. and people came. left for my open house duty at 2. ya but went back for the handover at 2
everything went quite well. oh yes i got chosen to be one of the ICs for the next thing. the OGL sign up. each of us got to get 10 people each at least. so people.. come look for me !!
hai~ this one may not pick up your calls over the next few days.. see my mood. rather busy. and super sian and unstable. friends say i turn violent when i am unstable, who knows ?? guess i lost control sometimes. hai~ alright guess i am off. but before i go here's a pic of the invitation
yes !! i dun need to go for the photoshoot !! so bloody glad.. of cos i serious doubt the teachers taste when she named me, i mean of all people why me ?? i make myself look like a drug addict so i DUN NEED to be in this things. put me in open house or SBM club anyday !! HAHA
HAHA but i am kinda sad that jasmine couldnt make it. she is like the prettiest gal in class ? ruan dong should go, we all agree that ruan dong looks smart in formal wear. vee brings his usual air of confidence and ash, a funny sort of... cant put my finger on it. Nassy is just a female version of Vee but add in a little more laughter. AISHAH brings funk, energy and passion. and jie lin bring the slut and sia lan bian
tmr is the open house. kinda looking forward to it. though i would jsut be bring kids around but i like kids. hmm.. tmr duty ends at 2.. anyone free ?? do project or go out ??
oh yes.. i did rather badly for my accounts.. only got 19/25 lost to kai lin by half mark. argh !! a lost is a lost. i owe her now.. ass.. i am going to get back at her in GPA !!
The shit of being at a crossroads.. Sode No Shirayuki is icequeen, you know that feeling you get when you reach a crossroad ?? when you are stuck not knowing where to go. the feeling that if you could you would like to go down all the roads but yet you only can go down one. i am feeling something like that now.. Benihime is XX, Senbonzakura is grace but i guess its not that important. so i sit myself down and think of the loads of work still on my back. hai~ its getting heavier ? or am i getting weaker ?? not really feeling that well this few days. running a temperature when i wake up most mornings. guess cold showers really help. hey.. can you be a little easier on me ?? please ?? hai~ this 3 crossroads.. its hard to choose. Sode No Shirayuki is a hard road to walk. its hard, cold, painful and a little lonely yet i guess theres sunshine after the rain ?? Senbonzakura.. peaceful, funny, crappy-ness yet questionable.. and lastly, Benihime fun, laughter and lots of care but yet it requires an offering of blood to fully awaken. HAHA you must be thinking i have gone mad. but its codes yet again. can you all figure this one out ?
yap.. dun bother asking me out. this one is seriously broke. why ?? hai~ too many people got sad shit happening to them i guess. i had 80 bucks still on thurs !! but totally broke now man. went out with hanhan today. she.. isnt feeling too well. so i thought same retail therapy would do her some good.
after sending ter to work, i rushed down to bugis. HAHA but this hanhan still likes to keep her record with me. she is 100% late to come meet me. never once on time or early. HAHA but its ok. gals are always late. i am used to waiting. we walked around bugis, sat at TCC talk about her problems. hai~ one thing i have to say though i can understand his actions cos we are rather alike.. being a TAIZIdoesn't give you the right to expect your gf to be the one to give in all the time !! (note: i seem to be the one giving in) haiyo... i know you are spoilt from young being rich and all but that doesnt mean you should treat her like that. argh.. reminds me of how i was treated. SHIT !! hai~ but me always being the guy who stands up for the losing party, spoke up for him but today.. seems like my words wasnt really that strong. maybe cos when i was in the same shit, i chose to give up. and now i end up telling someone who is in the same extreme pain i was in to hang on and NOT give up. hai~ hope everything turns out alright.
hai~ yet another piece of bad news. what happened man !! this is super serious.. 2 months ?? and we know it only now ?? OH MY GOD.. i hope he is ok.. poor guy. his family must be so sad. hai~ hope he can make a full recovery
The crap of reb..
while bad news first, now some good news. today is reb's birthday but we are celebrating yee leng's birthday together too cos we got no school next friday. hai~ super tired. strangely my legs are killing me, something wrong ?? god knows.. hai~ spent too much today, got no money now..
Seoul garden..
HAHA i bet yun han was really happy. she has been telling me to go Seoul garden with her since the last time we went. as usual vee and jeremy joined us. HAHA didn't really feel like eating much. haven't been having a appetite. talked alot of rubbish and as usual my table is trying to cock something funny again. yes.. i fed ICE QUEEN ICE CREAM dun mean anything pool..
HAHA after Seoul garden, the rest went to Kbox. while yun han need to go off soon so.. vee, jeremy, yun han, beyong godlike and i went over to the pool place. HAHA played afew rounds, its been a long time since i touched pool. HAHA won afew rounds being the lucky taiko me. HAHA lost a round to jeremy. bet he is bloody happy HAHA.vee is still upset over my last taiko win over him. HAHA lucky my taiko lasted long enough. i am a lucky bastard.
Kbox..
afterpool i headed over to Kbox to meet the others. HAHA it was weird when i got a call and if al people it was from yun han. HAHA turns out she left her wallet in my bag. she ran from nyp back to meet me and get it back. i went to find them HAHA sang a bit. i love nan yong !! totally love that song man. its funny and nice.
after singing our full, all of us went our own ways. we were still should to go drinking HAHA reb's 18th ma.. must let ther exprience her new freedom. but.. reb and ice queen both said that they are tired and kept saying anything so.. in the end we all went home to rest HAHA.. thats all for today, tmr is going to be a bad day. will you pei me ??
well, fewqns i have been asking myself the past week. what have i become ?? really.. have i really forgone that nice guy ?? and really condemned my soul to be such a bastard ?? hai~ getting pissed getting fed up. i used to be rather well tempered. what has become of that ?? must i really show my true side to these few only ?
talking to elsie has made me want to treat someone with my innocence again.. i kinda miss the feeling of just waiting on someone, sending her home, treating her to the best of my abilities and of cos enjoying the sweet moments that we have. but..
the flame flickers as though it was weak but was it jsut trying to light up other areas ?? or was it trying to get a better look at something that caught its eye..
argh.. today started out realy badly. i got scolded and blamed for everyone's action and what is so big ?? STUPID BEYOND GODLIKE LA..
cos noone told her that the tutorial room is cancelled today, she came all the way to school for nothing. then she called me at about 11 plus asking if there was tutorial. when i told her there wasnt she totally blew up at me la. okok though i was tired and still feeling shitty i told her that i was on my way to school already. the bloody hell hang up the phone on me !! what the fuck.. nvm strike 1 only i still can take it.
strike 2 was when i was on the way to school. she sms me say what my bloody face not there, say even if i from second link come down also should be there le. wa.. this time blood boiling a bit le but last strike so i dun blow up yet. on the way to school, i saw jia yuh so i asked her along to share the burden she agreed of cos.
heard of strike 3 and you are out ?? the stupid beyond godlike when i reach north canteen to meet her. she bloody hell still give me attiude. say i blind say i stupid all that. wa !! that time i really cannot take it le so i keep quiet. but when jia yuh joined us, the beyond godlike totally never blame her somemore scold me even more WTF LA.. F**KING PISSED.. argh !! that was strike 4 by the way. so from that time on i didnt speak to her i dun want to blow up at her.
argh.. lucky yun han help her. talk to me about her bf. yes.. ytd elsie ok le. today yun han new thing happen. turns out yun han's bf shuai shuai is also another TAI ZI. cool and he is really alot like me HAHA but then again us TAI ZI's think alike and han han agrees also. talked about alot of things. HAHA rather similar, only that han han is prettier, way less slutty, uses more of her brain and han han actually knows what her bf wants. which makes everything jsut a misunderstanding. so i sorted things out for her and told her how he thinks, how she wants her to behave and how he will slowly shape her up to be his princess. and she said he said the exact same thing to her !! HAHA how funny. we talked a little. considering my cases were all princess by their own right. i had to bring up the ya tu. HAHA yes.. sad to say, she is the prefect example of how this TAI ZI tried to change something that was too bad.. HAHA. same thing is happening with han han but she is willing to change to be his princess (thats so sweet right ??) aawww han han need help can call me !! HAHA our table forever support you !!
oh yes. i got to say this. ting ting and grace are like competiting to see who steps up the most this sem !! tingting has become more open this sem while mixing with such an idiot like me of cos you will open. HAHA my table helpped too !! we are nosiy idiots. HAHA back to the topic.. move over jas and serene.. step up grace and tingting man.. today grace wore her black shirt with...shit. i didnt notice HAHHA.. but tingting countered with a white top jeans and white heels ? ok didnt really get the footwear but i do know she wasnt wearing it in class. HAHA ICE QUEEN i dun mean that your feet stink its not that !! HAHA i am being a total idiot reporting what they wear but really its at least something to laugh about..
my god this is a long post.. tmr is going to be a long day. SBM club meeting clash with OPEN HOUSE MEETING. nvm i will go on the open house meeting on friday which has a SBM EVENT TOO !! my god.. things are getting fun !!
hai~ jsut finished my econs.. damm suay.. why is it i can do all the other qns BUT the one i am suppose to present ? damm it..
well, glad that elsie finally made up with her bf. my god that took me awhile. hey you.. love each other then continue loving.
hai.. super no mood today. saw germain this morning on my way to the ICA. guess that was good. hai~ the ICA was ok, i guess. dun know. hope i can beat that ass. other than that the day was rather a blur, seeing that i was hungry throughout most of the day. ya.. didnt get anything to eat. oooh.. grace was pretty today, guess she was trying her pretty in white HAHA. tingting tried something new too, she tried to go long but that made her look.. well, a little too covered up. HAHA han han said ICE QUEEN looks better in tees. guess so makes her look longer HAHA maybe more shapy too ?? thats for you to see. HAHA i am pa jiao.
come hom and fell asleep right away. really damm tired this few days. dun mind me if i am like a zombie but doubt i will. alright !! tmr is the econs project due date for serene and siew ling. got to call han han to go school early tmr. will she ?? AHHA dun know.. someone pass me a lap to rest my head please ?? HAI~ I AM REALLY TIRED !! someone save me !!
well, today was not a bad day. i got the call up to go for SBM club. yes i am so happy !! HAHA the games were rather interesting and got to know quite afew new people, including ECOS members. HAHA found out pretty gal was in too !! but... damm it !! we had to clean the CLUB ROOM !!! which is in a total mess god knows how long they didnt clean it, HAHA but it was rather fun.
ya.. rather tired when i got back but then i went to my grandma's to see her. AHHA she was in a good mood today maybe cos she hasnt seen me for a while. well, after that i got home, on my com and went to my blog..
then i saw my tagboard.. those 2.... shit i cant scold vuglar words.. ARGH !! damm pissed at those idiots. cant even read. what are their eyes for.. argh.. forget it.. i shall once again jsut dun care about them. spoil my day.. argh !!
well, i havent blogged for a few days and my tagboard is getting stagant.
this one is not in the best of moods right now. dun mess with me or i swear i will hit you. maybe even bite you. i dun realy give a damm to who i shoot.
too many things are happening at once, got my management back today. did really badly. only scored like 16/30 my god !! i suck !! my econs was a bit better with 27.5/40 but the winner was my writing skills 24.5/30 remember my superstar presentation ?? HAI~ didnt reach my aim for all 3..
the thing with her is also dragging on.. dun really know what to do but i have decided that studies will be my number one for now. argh.. really sian and fan !!
hai~ yap.. its beyond hope now. guess theres really nothing much i can do. its funny. everything seems different from last time. even talking.. hai~ guess its really borthering me.
well, at least this time.. i will say that i love you. to hell with showing weakness. i love her and thats a fact.
its theres anything i hate more than losing, its losing someone.. hai~ i totally have no mood this days. but i dun seem like am i right ?? well, peeps you people are forgetting.. i am the master of the hidden face and the master of fade to black. hai~.. really sad this days.. ARGH !! i hate life now !!
i know my place thats why its so easy for me to fade to black in all your lives. everything you people get out of your dark periods. you will find that i am no where to be found right ?? guess most of you dun even remember. HAHA.. well, if you all are ever wondering through the darkness again. its there that you will find me. in the dark.
sorry all my peeps, you know my character. to show weakness is a major NONO for me. i will always seem happy even if i am not. taught to me by HS. great brother he is.
hai~ its happening again.. past moments once so painful are coming again. wasnt the last time enough !!! cant you give me more of a break ?? this really sucks..
hai~.. first day of school. though i have no lessons today but i am still back here. for what you may ask.. what else.. do project. came to schoola t 12 now its about 1 and i am almost done.
hmm.. the propect of going back to school really stinks.. hai~ still wish i had better things to do. nvm.. at least i will be with the table of 4. guess we will be having more fun for the rest of the sem.
The softness calls to him. the light is catching up. the activities are all starting.. but sleep seems like the only thing driving him to go on.
The tale of the seven wounds.. well.. the guys and i went to catch the countdown fireworks at marina. it was kinda great. i am in no mood to really talk about the 7 wounds. too tired i guess ask me about it if you want to know. maybe falling sick soon. jsut realy confused right now. i hope my mind gets sorted out by some sleep. its been a long time since i had great sleep. been having late nights recently. hai~ my brain is in a mess. i feel like i have left out my brain for the past 2 weeks and jsut had alots and alots of fun. now.. seems like i am suffering from it.
the tale of the dragon and the hell hime.. -Do i mean anything to you ?? or do you still dont know that i am bearing my heart to you ?? if so.. jsut stab it and leave me. its jsut another wound. i am hurting already..
