Sad cousins..

argh.. the last few days have not been easy man. sometimes i wonder why i always willingly be the listener to the sad people around me. its hard mantaining a proper mood after hearing their stuff. its even harder if you HAVE to mantain your mood. thats why my nick now is "give me strength to bear the unbearable." but nvm.. its sort of part of me. guess thats why i am the only one left in the DA. help everyone to get out of it.

at first, it was only jana. Now.. seems like shawn has joined in too. hai~ this 2 sad cousins. been their listenning ear for the past few days. guess thats all i can do. noone really listens to what i say. but its ok i guess..

hai~ havent msg someone seriously for a while now. maybe cos i am having exams. too busy ?? nope.. just get the feeling that she has her stuff and i should be doing my part too. or is it that i do not want to pressure her in anyway ?? god knows.. sometimes when we msg, things are nice and everything else doesnt matter. but somedays.. you jsut get the feeling that she is having her fun and you should jsut let her have it. argh.. what i am saying ?? i am getting too attached to the "feeling" she gives me. i am such a kid..

my gut tells me we wont be together, my brain tells me i am not worthy of such beauty..
but the heart jsut wants to wait around..

Love is like..

falling in love is like jumping out of an plane.

its exciting, totally fun, out of control and you never want it to end.
it makes the blood rush through your body and you get the feeling that you are alive.

on the other hand.. falling out of love is when you realise you forgot your parachute.



Love is like the ultimate addiction drug. you get so high with him/her around but when he/she isnt.. you just miss her so much.

Chingay and starbucks..

HAHA.. today was the chingay parade. dun ask me why i am posting so late, jsut got home ok ??

not going to talk much let the pics do the talking for me.. HAHA..




thats the pic for the parade.. HAHA.. here comes the interesting part..



yes, those are phone booths and yes, we were sitting on them while watching the parade. i got to say.. its a good view HAHA.. that was till the policeman who wanted to arrest us came and we bolted.. fun while it lasted..




oh yes.. this family.. an excellent family i would say. HAHA.. they were having a pinic at the parade !! HAHA.. power packed i tell you.. if you see closely, you can see the snacks and everything.. HAHA.. damm funny when i saw them.


ya.. after the parade, didnt want to stay for the jam. so left at about 915. went to meet jana to slack at starbucks. ended up talking about stuff that was bothering her HAHA, why am i not suprised.. slack around till about 1240 HAHA, got to know the new staff at the starbucks. they seem nice. and funny too.. HAHA.. who knows i might start slacking there more ?? HAHA.. thats if jana will slack with me. OH YES !! its true, coffee makes me hyper. sad ?? AHHA more like funny cos i talk total rubbish when hyper. jana was laughing her ass off HAHA.. ok.. its late. i ought to be sleeping.. damm.. coffee is really nice.. feel like drinking it !! HAHA.. maybe tmr.. when jana finishs her work. she is going through tough times so guess i will help out when i can..


thoughts flow as the water in the steam, the heart grows weak as the days pass..
i am an asshole, screw me.. but that will make you gay :)

Sex and Horoscopes..

man.. of all places, this came from reb but its totally funny !! HAHA..

Once you have opened this email, there's no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist predictionist. Read your sign, then repost this in a new bulletin with your zodiac sign and label, or you'll get bad luck for the number of years stated in your sign description. This is real ### t, try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets worse from there.

TAURUS The Tramp Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships.=] Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy as .......... Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as ......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to #### with. Are the most sexy people!

VIRGO:. The Virgin Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness.

SCORPIO:. The sex addict Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring.

LIBRA:. The Lover Very pretty. Very romantic. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun, smart and sweet. Sensuous kisser. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Truest partner for life. Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? BY FAR the BEST in BED. Not the kind of person you wanna #### with. The most irresistible.

ARIES:. The Liar Outgoing. Lovable. Spontanious. Not one to #### with. Erotic. Funny. Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed.

AQUARIUS:. Does it in the water Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing in bed, THE BEST LOVERS BETTER THAN EVERYONE!

GEMINI:. Does Twosomes Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the #### out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE.

LEO:. The Lion in bed Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.

CANCER:. The Cutie MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high ### appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous. Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

PISCES:. The Piece of ass Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high ### appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.

CAPRICORN The passioate Lover Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irrestible, good kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Nice to everyone They meet. Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to Be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. Has the last word.

SAGITTARIUS:. The Sexy one Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna with you might end up crying.

Break's over..

well, the CNY break was fun while it lasted. now.. its back to exams. i know.. everyone is stressed out by the exams some panicking, some totally not bothered, some jsut anyhow. well, all the best to all. i will say, you will get what you deserve.


what keeps me going so relaxed ?? well blame it on the "poster" someone gave me a long time ago.. i like and believe in it alot.

it says..
"YOU WERE NOT MADE TO DIG IN THE DIRT WITH CHICKENS, BUT TO SOAR THE CLOUDS WITH THE WINGS OF AN EAGLE."







well, hope it helps you all as much as its helped me. and yes i did write something on it..

next up.. totally random pics !! HAHAHA... sorry i was bored so my brain was trying to be funny

looks like an interview with a convict or drug addict right ??

totally bored, dun blame me, blame the person who ps me and the person who took so long to come and meet me.


i love my grandma's tortoise !! it is damm cute and damm scared of me !! but its like as big as my foot !! HAHA its damm funny keeps running around.



is it my fault ? am i trying too hard again ?? or are these thoughts once again running through my mind ??

After the Third day..

been working the pass few days.. HAHA.. at the mahjong table.. not bad, this year.. its up to 50 plus i think.. maybe cos someone has been on my mind this year.. can i make it to a 100 ??

well.. its late. tired and have a headache from all the mahjong. think i might be falling sick soon. will upload if i have time. LTC is coming.. should get ready soon.

this few days have been a whirlwind.. things have been fun. thanks alot..

CNY..

damm tired.. slept at 4 this morning and woke up at like 9 ?? OMG.. 5 hours is NOT ENOUGH !! i am dying !! argh !!

ya.. when over to my grandma's today.. the usual slacking and stuff. tried to study but.. gave up after 1 qn.. exams are coming :(

then during my road trip around singapore, i think i got motion sickness. really felt like puking in the car. oh well.. sis says i never eat enough. ya.. then burnt my finger on a joss stick at the temple. great luck right ?? HAHA..

ya.. then went to my other grandma's house and... it was time to work again(mahjong) HAHA.. at a point i was actually losing about 20 dollars i think gave up counting but i know i only left a red note but played on and in the end.. i think i won like 20 plus ?? HAHA ya.. then after dinner.. time for my part time job (blackjack) i rarely win money but ya why not try right ?? lose also nvm.. HAHA won a bit then lost it till i only have $4 of winnnings left then i decided to showhand.. put 4 dollars out. in the end i won 4 back so total won $8, not bad normally i only win like 5 ?? HAHA good luck this year ?? its turning out to be a case year.

total after 2 days of work.. yesterday won about 2 plus plus today's mahjong 20 plus plus blackjack 8.. = about.. 30 ?? not bad.. but i need more.. aim to earn 100 this year.



pics from today !!








will this be the calm before the storm ??

Day out with a spoilt phone..

went for LTC briefing today.. was there like.. 930 ?? ya crap my dad has really weird timings. he sent me to school today. briefing was.. ok i guess. HAHA really short and sweet which is great. now thinking which bag i was to use.may have alot of stuff but will get used to it.

went shopping with my sis today. shopped for like 5 hours nonstop ?? HAHA.. ya.. walked the whole stretch of orchard. ended up buy afew things.. eh.. 1 shirt, 2 tees, 2 jeans, 1 collar, dress for my mum, chocolate for my sis and lunch. man i was so tired after being her luggage boy that i think my ass sang prasie when i finally sat down. almost fell asleep on the spot. really fun.

met jana after on my way home. she said she needed help choosing clothes. ok.. ya, so i accompanied her to walk around novena which actually has not bad clothes. but.... when we walk into Espirt, she says she doesnt like the clothes here. walk in I.P zone same thing, lonsdale same, animal same, flash and splash same.. i mean she almost hated everything we went to see but she did like this red top she tried. hope she gets it or she would have nothing new this year. the thing with her is.. she loves black too much. like me. but new year, we are not allowed to wear black. oh well.. sat with her at Mos Burger. talked of alot of shit, my surgery, her life, religion, sex, our friends etc etc etc. the fun thing about talking to her is.. she thinks in a way totally opposite for me. i mean she will rebutt every single thing i say HAHA.. gives me a sight of things from another angle which was kinda interesting to hear.

sad to say.. i think my phone was spoilt this afternoon. the people i msged.. never got the sms. but its ok now. who knows why.. and so is my Cbox.. everything is spoiling.. damm.. HAHA but i am still here..

was wondering.. other than not caring, what are your views ?

2weeks are up..

ya ya.. i know.. i disappeared for the most of yesterday. needed sometime alone. to do what ?? study i guess.. msot of the time i was studying. still have alot to do.. didnt play much this sem but didnt put in much effort either so i got to buck up now.. very most use BANKAI..

remember 2 weeks ago i was talking about a test i was going to take ?? well, went for it. it is actually the follow up appointment for my knee. it was suppose to tell me if i could go back to start training again or am i condemned to this state of reduce mobility for the rest of my life. well.. results are out. i tore my ACL ligament like.. totally tore it. it wont heal on its own. yap.. so.. guess i got to go for a reconstruction op. would most like be unable to walk for the first few days according to the doc and not be strong enough for another 6 months after that but i guess its pain that i am willing to endure. its just a more step for me to get back to playing ball. the op is set at 4th of may purposely set it to that day cos its after orientation. got to have fun first ya ??

theres a price to be paid for everything. the pain 2 days ago was part of it..

Thoughts for this Vday..

for guys who pass here and see this.. well, good for you. i need a place to pour this out or my brain is going to blow.. HAHA.. please do give credit back to THSOSL valentine services, we work rather hard..

this year.. from OSL to (insert her name)

will thou be a rose to thy thorn ?
For without thou rose,
thy thorn shall know no beauty nor love
will thou bestow on me the pleasure of being in service of something so perfect..

well.. that is if you are thinking of asking a gal to be in a relationship with you. i will not use "stead" as it is a crude term which youngsters nowadays find so interesting to use. OH yes.. sorry if this sounds like bootlicking to you cos lit was always bootlicking to me. HAHA..

From THS.. to.. SN

Allow me to show grace by giving duty to thy lips..

HAHA this one.. every should know whats it for.. HAHA.. bugger was making fun of me when he thought of that. oh well.. have alot of thoughts this year but i am keeping them for the person it was meant for. it shall go into the THSOSL VS 101.. HAHA..

oh yes, to guys out there. please try to be more romantic. DO FIND OUT WHAT THE NUMBER OF YOUR ROSES MEAN !! need help or anything, you can leave a comment.

THSOSL valentine services..

I am type C..

Gentle like a lamb. You have a high level of adaptance power, easy to get along with people. Very popular in social life but seems that no one will talk bad about you. You hate to have conflicts with people so you always try to adapt to everyone. You treat every person differently. To look at the bright side, you adapt easily. But to look at the dark side, you lack of character, although you are one big nice guy but you lack of charm. On the surface, you have a lot of friends but once you have troubles, you lack of soulmates to help you around. You must try to express yourself more and be more decisive. In this way, you can understand yourself more.

Unbearable pain..

woke up and the pain was worse than yesterday and it lasted longer too. this time, everyone was looking at me at the station. limping really hard jsut to walk. hai~.. my knee sucks..

school was ok today. went to school for my final presentation. EWS.. hai~ finally everything is over. and the mad rush to the exams begins.. my group did ok to me though some parts were too long and some parts too short. i think i cocked up.. oh well..

Vee is pissed off at his 2 members, cant say i didnt tell him that she will be like this, maybe he thought that she wont dare to do it to him. well, told him after sem one, a person's true colours will show. as for the other.. well i will jsut say that she doesnt know her work but at least she gave you something alright ?? chill dude.. people deserve what they get, the fact that you didnt blow up right in YH's face i thank you already. what you want to do jsut do it you have my support. people need to learn, even if it is the hard way..

on the train today.. i saw someone with her friend walk in at bishan. she straight away on entering and seeing me, turned the other direction and walked to the next door and turned her back to me HAHA.. guess thats what my hair is for, dun think i cant see.. i see everything perfectly. well, i wasnt in the right state of mind so i just listened to my music. havent been right, not for a while now. thats why i didnt say anything or do anything.

had a headache the whole day.. so i decided to switch off my brain. today shall be a off day..
somethings should be done direct..

The rubbish knee..

woke up at 7 in the morning.. guess what.. my knee HURT LIKE HELL !! i mean i could move it la.. it was unbearable so i limped all the way to the toilet on the heater and sat at my table waiting for the water. who knows.. i fell asleep. my dad woke me up at 755 my god was i late for class.. rush out of the hose after bathing. then i realised.. my knee wasnt so painful anymore.. maybe its PMS-ing..

ok.. right now.. i just reached home from the court. why am i home so early ?? COS MY FREAKING KNEE ALMOST GAVE WAY !! was freaking scared when it happened. exactly like the last time. you hear the joint turning then you feel your knee bending in a way it shouldnt. luckily my other leg was firm enough to support me or it would jsut have given way. this weakness is killing me !! my knee is the only thing holding me back !! argh !!

hai~ not in a really good mood. got a sms that i didnt really want to read. but guess thats life. what we want, we dun get.. learn to appreciate what i already have. spend 3 hours just alone at the court before join the rest for a game. jsut thinking replying and thinking somemore. then i remembered something i learnt long ago, the reason why things are so hard is cos we are tested of how much we really want it. then i decided that i am going press on cos i found something i dun want to give up on. at least not so easily. but.. one word will be enough to make me stop. funny ?? guess it is a little

how am i to be in the right state of mind..
when my mind is not even with me ??

thoughts of nakaido..

was reading the dear boy's blog. he reminds me of myself a few years ago.wondering why are we alive ? why do we need to suffer all this shit ?? all the crap HAHA.. he says we dun know the reason why we are standing here i am going to rebut that. we all have a reason for standing here but noone else can tell you what your reason is you have to find it yourself.

for me.. i met a few people i am really grateful to. they changed my life. firstly liting, john and shao qi (shi fu). liting taught me about love and how a person can give more to others than himself. john taught me the importance of confidence, communication and jokes. shao qi, he taught me manners on the court, homed my skills, teamwork, patience, guts and relaxing after a hard day. not forgetting the group that turn my life inside out. THE PANGZIES.. though i only joined the group in the second half of sec 4 we got really close, esp with HS. they are the ones who change this introvert to an extrovert. they gave me a feeling of belonging to that brotherhood. they taught me so much esp HS.. he has been such an ass of a brother AHHA.. all our jokes..

dear boy.. its not that your are paranoid. its normal for a person to analyse his past mistakes. its natural instinct to remember pain. and about you predicting others behaviour we do it all the time only that we keep it to ourselves and adapt our actions to the person we are talking to so as to avoid any misunderstandings.

about the part on econs.. well, the way i see it. humans are different from animals. we have embedded in our souls the seven sins. money is a way of controlling the sin of greed. think about it.. if money was water, wont you jsut keep taking more and more water to buy stuff till you have no water ?? Econs is more about human behaviour than you think. it studies the greed of humans, in topics like PPC, demand, supply and even elasticity.

in all i hoped i helped you a bit. i could talk alot more but its late HAHA.. i always say to my friends who are chirstians. god created you on this earth for a reason, he cant have nothing better to do, so find your reason. its about YOU not anyone else. you should try reading this books the alchemist and the manual of the warrior of the light by Paulo Coelho

as for my reason on earth, i believe it to be to find a person i can love with my whole heart
its that simple... hope the one that caught my eye gets closer..

Chicken pox in the house !!

OMG !! my bro has chicken pox !! i got to get away i got exams coming !! argh !! hope he gets better soon. his results will be out on Friday.. lets see how well our Mr "1st in school" does..

man.. i cant stand BHB people, i jsut find damm so annoying. well, i pass this gal today. someone was talking about homework when she went "i did it !!" and it was rather loud i mean everyone could hear it. then after that when people were talking about it. she kept smiling till someone say "YA LA YA LA WE ALL KNOW YOU GOT DO LA" then she still said "OF COS" my god.. this BHB people.. if they were with me, i would have either smack them or walk away. let them be happy about themselves. then i thought about it and realised its all those dumb ah lian wannabes and those act cute Bu Hui Zhang Da(BHZD) that are like this.. HAHA i seem to be targeting at someone.. do you all know who ?? dumb B***** should jsut continue SMD HAHA..

its alright to pass each day without contacting you but once in a while i find my mind wanders away

The crap of studying with SBM..

man.. serene is another person that is keeping a record with me. she is 100% late when meeting me. i called her at 10 this morning and asked her if she was going. at first we said meet at 11 at novena go together so that we wont get scolding. but in the end ?? she reach novena only at about 1145. my poor legs.

we took the train down to city hall wanting to surprise the group by appearing in front of them only mins after serene told Darren that she was still at sembawang. who knew ?? they all went to eat at marina sq leaving us 2 idiots walking around the esplande looking for them. in the end we had our own lunch. satisfied my craving for jap food but didnt eat much. my stomach is smaller now i guess. then met up with the group after we ate and studied for a while. damm i never studied continuously for such a long time before but.. when i reach home, i couldnt remember anything. well that management for you, i cant seem to find how it links to real life. hai~

i left after dinner with them. came home and just as i lied down on my bed. my doorbell rang.. such asses are my family man.. timing is SO good. argh !! tio PS by liting today, she missed her last train and took a cab home so dun need me to send her home. thats about it for today..

cheryl choo is sick today.. take care !! drink more water !!
why look for new when i think i have found eternity.. why push me away when you can just say no ??
i know its early, thats why i have hardly done anything.. why not take our time ?? i am not in a hurry
now someone told me something today.. that is what i want to say..
is it too little too late ? or too much too early ??
words dun matter once the decision is made
guess only yours will..

this is a declaration from the dark, or are you jsut too bright to see it ?

The crap of waiting for so long..

2 weeks.. thats how long more i have to wait. this 6 months have been a hell of a long time to pass. but finally its coming to an end. will i be set free after the test or will i still be chained down ?? i do hope the test will approve me. i am not really used to the me now. it sucks. argh. stupid shit that i got to go through.

argh.. the EWS project is so long !! i cant seem to sit still and type my parts out. argh !! i want it done by monday !! argh !! hai~ worried about something that i cant help. maybe thats why i worry ?? hai~ i want 1 more year. results are important ?? guess so..

running on the fields or shackled by the ankles..
we will see in 2 weeks..
this wait has not been easy too..
6 months is a long long long time..

i have been thinking.. and i got 13 Rs. will you approve ?

The shit of something missing..

the house seems.. empty. like its missing something. yes its the third day already. still not used to her not being around.

hai~ today was... SHIT. thats the perfect word. freaking disappointed. of what ?? my stats !! damm it.. i got a low C+ for my SPSS project !! argh !! WTH !! and when i got back my test paper i only got 25/40 argh !! i knew i would do bad for this but NOT THIS BAD !! hai~ i need to buck up. i want to get my A. i need it !! argh !!

coming up with 10 reasons. HAHA thats interesting. i got 8.. am i in trouble ?? i am stable, i know what i am doing. this feels right to me..
the notes come together..

Credit to ZHI WEI who give me the coding for the song. finally i have a blog song again.