i deicded that if i want her to come back, i need to be worthy of her coming back. so here i am, trying to pick up the pieces from this broke vase. i need to be whole or i will never be able to support another right ?? its unfair to have someone else support me, i am too heavy.
hey not forgetting the ones who have expressed thier care and concern..
to ice queen : thanks best friend for being there.
to pat : thought you are sick and you said a few really hurtful things to me but ya i know you are just trying to help. thanks..
to dehrajy: dude, i know you wont see this but hey world, this guy is my new best friend in camp he is the coolest dude on camp man. he has cool jokes, knows all the right words and has a good in his life. thanks for beating me up to get me on my feet again
to fanni : hey thanks and lets meet up sometime, we have things that we should discuss
to dorcas : hey.. i know you are busy, i dun blame you for checking up on me once in a while. i miss having you as one of my best friends in my life. i wish we could meet up more. dor.. thanks for telling with me.
to pamela : hello !! i dun know if you will see this but hey thanks.. it cheered me up alot (your bimbo-ish messages) thanks for waking up so early to reply me. and i miss the whole brunch of you SBM people. esp nif.. please tell him to update.
to mathew, noel, dom and yong jie : thanks for speaking up for me
and alex.. thanks man, you are the best. i dun know what i can do for you, but i will do it. you cheer me up every morning and say positive words to me all the time. i love you man deep deep, (UP YOUR ASS !!! HAHAHHAA (personaljoke))
to the rest : i am sorry i didnt tell you
to her : i will let god decide if we are meant to be. i cant fight fate.. we caught lighting once maybe we can do it again.
i took a halfday off from work jsut to come home and cry. i am so stupid.. so broken right now. nothing is going right for me. WHY !!! WHY!!! i cant find any excuses for this pain anymore. it just hurts so bad.
i am so badly just to msg you to get well cos i see from facebook that you are sick but i cant,since you told me not to contact you. i am so fucking useless..
i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know, i dun know....
why does it need to hurt so much to love someone.. why?? when we were so happy just 2 weeks ago..
hello world, wondering why i am blogging so early ?? cos i am on halfday !! i couldnt take it anymore so i took a halfday and i am totally going crazy now.
the world seems to become black and white for me. at work i cant concentrate, at home i feel miserable. i thought about it alot and i know why god is doing this.. he wants me to feel the pain of my actions. i thought about it alot and suddenly i found that it was really familiar. its like my last relationship only that now i am eve and she is me. god.. what am i to do.. how can i show her that we are meant to be ? i hate my MP3 its playing all the songs that mean alot to me. "can i have this dance?", "meet me halfway", "1,2,3,4", "right here,right now"..
god it hurts so much.. feels like a hole is opening up where my heart used to be.. my heart has always been with you.. if that isnt enough god give her my life cos my life isnt worth anything without her.
what will i do if she left me ? its too scary to think about. that nightmare last night is too horrible.
hello world is anyone reading ?? i dun know and i dun care.. nothing matters anymore.. whats going to happen to me ? i dun know..
spent my day at work thinking about you, faking a smile i know i dun have. everytime i close my eyes i see you, every dream is about you, every nightmare is about losing you. i am scared.. never loved someone so much in my whole life and never been so scared of losing someone.
god, i know i have done alot of bad things. i know the good i try to do isnt enough but please god.. bring her back. i dun care if i have to exchange something for it, anything.. take it, my legs my arms.. please just bring her back. even if i have to burn in hell, let me live my life with her.
I can't go any further than this I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish
Cool, I spent my time just thinkin' thinkin' thinkin' bout you Every single day, yes I'm really missin' missin' you And all those things we use to, use to, use to, use to do Hey girl, what's up, it use to used to be just me and you I spent my time just thinkin' thinkin' thinkin' bout you Every single day, yes I'm really missin' missin' you And all those things we use to, use to, use to, use to do Hey girl what's up yo... what's up, what's up, what's up
Can you meet me halfway, right at the borderline That's where I'm gonna wait, for you I'll be lookin' out, night n'day Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay I can't go any further than this I want you so bad it's my only wish
Girl, I travel round the world and even sail the seven seas Across the universe I go to other galaxies Just tell me where to go, just tell me where you wanna meet I navigate myself myself to take me where you be Cause girl I want I, I... I want you right now I travel uptown (town) I travel downtown Wanna have you around (round) like every single day I love you alway, way (I'll meet you halfway
Can you meet me half way) Right at the borderline That's where I'm gonna wait, for you I'll be lookin' out, night n'day Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay I can't go any further than this I want you so bad it's my only wish I can't go any further than this I want you so bad it's my only wish
Let's walk the bridge, to the other side Just you and I (just you and I) I will fly, fly the skies, for you and I (for you and I) I will try, until I die, for you and I, for you and I, for for for you and I, For for for you and I, for for you and I, for you and I
Can you meet me half way Can you meet me half way Can you meet me half way Can you meet me half way
Meet me half way, right at the borderline That's where I'm gonna wait, for you I'll be lookin' out, night n'day Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay I can't go any further than this I want you so bad it's my only wish I can't go any further than this I want you so bad it's my only wish
nothing is going right and i am totally lost. what am i suppose to do ?? i dun know.. i never loved someone so much before. i am scared... scared of doing the wrong thing, scared of losing you, scared of not being able to embrace you.
why has all this got to happen ? i just want to hug you to sleep right now..
so so so lost.. caught between selfishness and selflessness. torn apart. but i got to endure this cos i believe the sun will rise again.
is suppose to be 
s do grow up