hey god, it would be our 1 year and 6 months today. god i really miss her today.. i jsut couldnt do anything right. my work is screwed.. audit is tmr.
but god i got to thank you for afew things.. thanks for making me so busy that i cant even think thanks for showing me who are the ones standing by me thanks for the deep cut on my hand. its small but deep. just like the cut in my heart. the pain made me feel better. dorcas says that physical pain helps relieve the mental pain. cos you can actually feel it and cry out cos its there. i felt so relieved as i saw the blood flow out, the overwhelming pain helped. it made me forget about the wound in my heart. i know it sounds crazy but i like it. i wont do anything like that on purpose but i guess god is just trying to ease my pain a little. losing all that blood, it helped clear my head for a while at least. i could think, i could work faster when the pain was there.
i am turning crazy, now i know what it means to be "an addict without an addiction" god i miss her so much everyone says she is never coming back.. i know that but.. i.. i... i still love her with all my heart.. though she will never know.. god its in your hands..
i might post the pictures of the cut i got later i cant seem to upload it to my com
