in the darkest times..

you realize that you are really jsut all alone.

super sick today, even had to go to the hospital but..

i didnt stop thinking about you.

stupid huh ??

ya i know...

thinking about how are your exams, how are you and him..

still praying for your happiness and well being..

i hope you are well..

i am sure what you need is just a hug and a kiss on your forehead.

the truest things come out when you dun know what you are saying..

pain makes me feel alive

you know..

i am really stupid..

i know that i will never end up with you.

but i want you to be happy, every cell in my body wants that.

just like the first time i met you.

but ya i know, i wont get a chance to be by your side again.

god.. save my soul

this pain tells me i am alive..

i like this pain..

i will keep it in my chest..

till it consumes me again..


i thought about it recently, i have been too much for too long. i just its the result of trying to be a jack of all trades. i just got to concentrate on being me, i guess. got to be selfish.

i reflected while taking a walk yesterday. the thing that i am lacking now is that i am not driven. i lack that motivation, that goal.. that purpose.. and i think that i might have found it back so now its time to work towards that goal.

lips sealed shut..

there are a lot of things that i haven"t posted up

there are a lot of things i cant say

there are a lot of things i heard last night that made my chest hurt like hell

there are a lot of things i want to do for you that i cant

sometimes i just want to scream out and tell you that all i ever wanted was you back in my life but i cant.

sometimes all i want to tell you is that the only reason i carry on is cos you are happy with all this.

sometimes all i want to do is to hug you and kiss you on your forehead like old times..

but i cant...

god i know i will never get over you..

god i still love you like the first day we met



some people have everything i dreamed for and they take it for granted. everything i fought so hard for, everything i changed my plans and myself for.. and she let me go. now this guy doesn't care to appreciate her ?? he seriously doesn't know what he's got. everything i want to protect and hold is her. and he jsut lets it go just like that. i pray that she will find happiness. i am willing to give up mine for her's so just take whatever i am done.

karma works in very funny ways. the roles have switched again. never thought there will be a day where she would be the one staying home waiting for a clubber :( god i pray for faith and happiness for her.

closer and closer..

its this time last year, i relied on you the most.

i am trying very to move on but its very very close to that day.

the dreams dun let me sleep and the thought haunt me when i am awake.

god.. help me.